Fashion police

Let’s face it the French are a stylish lot so, when in France image matters. It’s important to look right and nowhere does it matter more than on a bike!

Look at the pro teams. Everything works together, jersey, shorts, helmets and frame colour. Although the current Footon-Servetto-Fuji kit of pale gold and black that makes their riders look naked is just so wrong.

With the weight of the fashionistas on my mind I have carefully chosen my outfit for the Etape. I’m riding for the multiple sclerosis society and they have their own colour scheme – it’s orange! I scoured the fashion magazines to see what might work with orange to find that, strangely, the fashion world ignores this particular hue. With a lack of inspiration I turned to fashion god Gok Wan. I studied his programme How to Look Good Naked and listened to his advice. “Choose clothes that flatter your frame,” he advises. Luckily I chose the Cervelo R3 frame which is white: it won’t clash with the orange jersey, thankfully.

After much head scratching and digging around in sports shops I’ve put together the perfect team kit and I’ve paid attention to the detailing and accessories, just as Gok Wan says I should. The orange and black jersey is set against black Assos shorts (which incidentally have an orange chamois), Nike black socks with orange detailing (so anti-euro rules!), a white cat-like whisper plus helmet (ironically I waited 9 months for it but if I’d wanted the orange one it would have arrived next day!) The all important shades are the Oakley jawbones in white with orange lenses. Hopefully I will look the part, although I’m worried that when my face goes purple with effort I will be putting in to get over the mountains it will clash horribly with my kit!